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Posts by author

Melissa M. Parker

17 posts
For contributor Melissa Parker, it all began with Starfox 64. Ever since, she's been using the boost to get through. Once upon a time you could've found her playing Tekken at the old Chinatown arcade, but now she plays at home on her Xbox, and that suits her fine. One of her favorite childhood memories is of going to a Mexican place by the water and playing some Stones on the jukebox, while taking over the Harley-Davidson pinball machine.
  • Rewind
  • RPG

Crystal Story Review

  • October 31, 2019
  • Melissa M. Parker
Indie Gem Ever since I started playing Crystal Story, I’ve been searching for the right way to describe how intensely addicting it is. I’m sure you’ve already seen the headlines—“Woman…
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  • Indie

They Need To Be Fed 3 Review

  • September 9, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
Sequels can be an extremely tricky enterprise. Take it from someone who (accidentally on purpose) watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last night, even the most…
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  • Action

Warhammer 40k: Carnage Review

  • June 30, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
Am I the only one who’s been feeling all meched out lately? Maybe it’s because of the slew of disappointing mech-driven Android titles, like Pacific Rim and MetalWars 3. More likely it’s…
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  • Horror

Mental Hospital: Eastern Bloc 2 Review

  • June 9, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
In some ways, I think that mobile games can lend themselves to horror even better than console games. With headphones on, all the creaks and groans filter directly into your…
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  • Action

Marvel Run Jump Smash! Review

  • March 3, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
In writing this review of Marvel Run Jump Smash! I knew I needed to pin down when the commercialization of the Marvel franchise really began. Was it in 1977 when…
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  • Strategy

Bad Hotel Review

  • February 14, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
Of all the things I hate about Bad Hotel, at the very top of that list is sound design. Forgive me. Calling it a “sound design” is an insult to…
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  • Adventure

Detective Grimoire Review

  • January 30, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
Detective Grimoire is a stylish game. In fact, it’s stylish enough to make me wonder if it can stand on that alone. In pop culture, style often dominates over substance.…
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  • Indie

Little Inferno Review

  • January 5, 2014
  • Melissa M. Parker
Little Inferno is a hard game to review, because you don’t play it so much as experience it. The gameplay is completely straightforward: you buy things, you burn them, and…
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  • Archives

Heroes of Loot Review

  • October 3, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
What follows is the newest Android recipe from OrangePixel: One part dungeon crawler, one part shoot-‘em-up, a generous helping of pixel art, and a dash of Gauntlet to taste. Mix…
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  • Archives

Mecho Wars Review

  • September 18, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
Mecho Wars is a turn-based strategy game with great potential. There’s good diversity in the types of mechs you control and enemies you face. The colors are vibrant and there’s…
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  • Archives

Hell, The Dungeon Again! Review

  • September 6, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
Listen, Hell, The Dungeon, we need to talk. The thing is, I’m having second thoughts about our relationship. I can forgive the comma in your title. I can forgive the…
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  • Archives

Pixel Defenders Puzzle Review

  • August 16, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
There’s a plague sweeping the nation, and it goes by the name “Match-3.” I prayed that the Bejeweled outbreak would end eventually, but with new strains being produced each day,…
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  • Action

Robot Unicorn Attack 2 Review

  • August 5, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
In 2010, Robot Unicorn Attack was everywhere. Erasure’s signature synthpop ballad blasted out of PC speakers and drifted into the streets. Amazon was overwhelmed with requests for replacement “x” and…
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  • RPG

Doom & Destiny Review

  • July 10, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
If you’ve never played an RPG before, Doom & Destiny isn’t the place to start. Virtually every joke and piece of dialogue is meta-commentary on the tropes of that gaming…
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  • Archives

Dragon Evolution Review

  • June 17, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
Everybody wants to feel like God from time to time. That’s part of the appeal of games that involve evolution, like Spore or PokĂŠmon. To witness evolution in the real…
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  • Archives

Punch Quest Review

  • May 21, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
In Punch Quest’s title sequence, you see a beefy man catching some z’s in a hammock strung up between apple trees. An orc sits nearby, smiling as he sniffs a…
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  • Archives

They Need To Be Fed 2 Review

  • May 13, 2013
  • Melissa M. Parker
A common fear when playing platformers is the fear of falling. Overestimate a jump by just a few pixels and you’ll skid off the next ledge into the dreaded abyss…
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